You daughter is getting married, a day we are sure you have been waiting for since she was a little girl. With all the excitement that comes with planning a wedding, helping with the preparations, to make sure everything is perfect for her.
There often is one thing that is pushed to the sidelines, finding your perfect mother of the bride dress.
We know that for most women, no matter what their size, shape or personal style, finding a mother of the bride dress can be a rather hard task.
From wanting to fit in with the dress code and venue, to finding something that will look good in the photographs, flatter you and compliment the colour scheme. There seem to be so many rules in place when it comes to finding mother of the bride dresses.
Unfortunately, this list seems to grow ever longer when it comes to the mother of the bride dresses plus size.
Far too many plus size mother’s of the bride, when they begin searching for their dresses come up again a wall of ‘helpful advice’ full of rules about what is flattering on whom, and which styles you should stay away from.
Well, we are here to debunk these myths!
Not only do they presume that all plus-size women share the same negative view on their size and shape, liking and disliking the same areas. But it also works to limit such a large array of styles and cuts of garments, leaving many plus size mother of the brides with a style of dress both sartorially uninspiring and unflattering.
So, this is why we are here.
We hope that in uncovering some absurd and outdated myths about mother of the bride plus size dresses, that you will be able to find yourself an outfit that will empower you on this special day.
- You Need to Avoid Fitted Mother of the Bride Dresses
This is a statement we are sure that you have heard all too often as a plus-size woman. Most fashion magazines are constantly pumping out the messages that fitted clothing will make you look a lot bigger.
There is a reason that we have put this first on our myth list. This is simply untrue! In fact, as Roswitha Moti says ‘in fact, wearing loose clothes will just double your size’.
Moti continues to give the advice that ‘the key to hiding your flaws with fitted clothing is to look for the right shape, size and details. For women with a large torso and smaller lower body, it is a must that you create an illusion of your waist.'
'Remember to look for a size that suits you well - not too tight nor too loose’.
Although we do think that Moti’s assumption that you must create an illusion with your waist should instead be up to you, in deciding what you want to flatter.
We believe that her point still stands, not only should the assumption that plus-size women can’t wear fitted clothing be disregard simply because it is far too outdated for 2019 (we can wear what we want people!). But that it also is simply wrong, forcing plus size women into baggy clothes is likely to only make them look and feel frumpy.
2. Stay Away from Mother of the Bride Dresses Long
Again, this is another piece of advice that is told all too frequently to plus size ladies. Just like our last myth, it is utter rubbish.
Not only should everyone be able to wear what they please, but maxi styles can actually be a great look for mother of the bride plus size dresses.
Matio offers some great advice on this topic: ‘you can wear any style you wish to wear as long as it is of the right size and design. In fact, wearing maxi dresses can do you wonders as it will elongate your body, making you look a lot taller and slimmer.’
‘For curvy women, best maxi dress styles include v-neck halter top styles will look good for ladies with biggest busts. An empire waistline is another style that will make waists look a lot smaller.’
- You can’t wear patterned mother of the bride dresses
Bishamber Das wears boohoo patterned dress
Another one that is told all too frequently and liberally to the curve mothers of the bride. It is based on the same principle that ‘every archaic size-based guideline is always about camouflaging those “trouble zones”’ that can literally make up an entire body.
Liz Black says this very well indeed ‘any print will draw attention to that area (trouble zones), the saying goes, but since when is attention a bad thing?’. After all, chances are you won’t be a mother of the bride many times in your life, why not enjoy it?
The rule that different colours and patterns suit our bodies in different ways is certainly true, but ‘the assumption that all curvy girls want to look slimmer is BS, according to model and lawyer Bishamber Das’.
“If I got a pound every time I heard I shouldn’t wear horizontal stripes, I’d be a millionaire,” she says.
“I used to want to look slimmer, choosing all-black outfits, but I’m glad I’ve outgrown that mindset.
“Since it’s confidence that makes an outfit look good on you, I now dress solely for me.
“Every time someone suggests looking slimmer, I remind myself that it’s more important to look stunner.”
- You can only wear Mother of the Bride dresses with long sleeves, never mother of the bride dresses short!
Ashly Graham wears silver Pretty Little Thing dress.
For far far far too long the narrative on plus-size dressing has been the same, you should be covering up your skin instead of flaunting it.
Well, it’s really time now that this is redefined.
Sam Rowswell, the style blogger FattyBoomTatty is ‘all about a little exposé. ‘I love the whole crop top look’ sam says. ‘When I rock those two inches of skin on my stomach, does anything bad happen? No! Wear the damn crop top - our skin deserves the sun.”
Right, so we do know that crop tops probably aren’t an option for your mother of the bride look (unless your daughter is going ultra-modern and casual). But, we just adore Sam’s point, don’t be afraid of wearing that mother of the bride dress short, or of trading in the mother of the bride dress with long sleeves for something that you love more.
The most important thing is that you love what you are wearing, the confidence you will have from wearing something you love will make whatever you wear shine.
- Under no circumstances should you wear body con
Similar to the first point we made, ‘if you’re conscious about your curves, don’t hide away in super-loose clothes as they make the figure look fuller.’
Liz Black talks about her experience of wearing a body-con dress as a plus-size woman on refinery 29. ‘I love all my curves and edges, but one curve I don’t typically intentionally showcase is my VBO. (That’s visible belly outline, to you non-VBO owners.)'
'But if I don’t suck in my stomach with shapewear, it’s clearly going to present itself. The only style rule to follow is find what fits your comfort level — whether that’s skintight or just curve-skimming — so you aren’t stuck adjusting your outfit all night long.'
Liz makes the perfect point, that if you want to wear a body con dress, it is worth paying a little attention to the fabric. ‘Just go for a fabric with a good stretch to avoid lumps and bumps.’
So, if you have your eye on that bodycon mother of the bride dress, why not go for it.
- Avoid Mother of the Bride Dresses Plus Size in Bright or Bold Colours
Bishamber Das wearing a dress from GirlLikeMeOnline
This is not only unwelcome advice as it relies upon the belief that all plus size women dress with the goal of making themselves appear smaller. But is also a completely untrue and unhelpful offering.
It is not the colour of the garment that makes one appear bigger, rather the cut and shape of the piece of clothing. Finding the areas of your body that you want to highlight, and identifying the styles that best do this, is the way to flattering dressing. Not forcing yourself in a uniform of darker shades.
- Plus Size Mother of the Bride dresses are guaranteed to make you look frumpy
As Ashly Graham’s Oscar outfit more than proves, being plus size doesn’t mean that you can’t look anything from elegant, stylish and gorgeous. Or really, however, you want to look for that matter!
Frumpy, a word that we think is used all too often in the world of more mature plus size women. The worry that you can all too easy wear something that is dowdy, unflattering and old fashioned has been made an ever-present worry. Especially for occasions such as a daughter’s wedding, when the pressure is on for a mother of the bride dress to fulfil so many different categories already.
Well, just like the others, the assumption that a plus size mother of the bride dress will make you look frumpy is simply wrong. We are lucky to be living in a time where there are more stores dedicated to dressing plus size women than ever before (and this is only growing as times goes on). The next section talks about some great stores for plus size mother of the bride dresses.
Really, finding something that is both fashionable and flattering is the easiest it is ever been. If you make sure that you avoid some of these outdated myths, it is even easier. For example, not falling into buying a baggy and unflattering dress, in a colour that refuses to stand out would be much more likely to make you look frumpy than going with a dress that genuinely excites you.
We are sure that if you find something that you love, none will end up using this word to refer to your mother of the bride style.
We would love to know what you would wear to your daughter’s wedding, let us know in the comments below!